


survey corps on crack

by lordandsaviorhisoka



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, no one is sain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29839008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordandsaviorhisoka/pseuds/lordandsaviorhisoka
Summary: just another day for survey corps:3absolute chaosI'll keep on adding chapters until I die
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë, Nanaba/Mike Zacharias, Reiner Braun/Porco Galliard
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> they're in high school so the age gap is small  
> emo bitch: levi  
> cap america wannabe: erwin  
> bloodhound: mike  
> banana: nanaba  
> foureyes: hanji  
> alcoholic: moblit  
> monke: zeke  
> FIGHT: eren  
> coconut head: armin  
> emo bitch #2: mikasa  
> horse face: jean  
> potato: sasha  
> idiot: connie  
> freckled jesus: marco  
> crackhead: furlan  
> chicken: isabel  
> colossal dick: bertholdt  
> lainah: reiner  
> big twin: marcel  
> smol twin: porco  
> finger: pieck  
> emo bitch but blonde: annie  
> queen: historia  
> queen's bitch: ymir  
> mf bitch: nile

at "survey corps' hoes"

FIGHT:who set the names?🙄

emo bitch: got problem?

FIGHT:...  
FIGHT:they're nice😃

monke: I can hear he stutter across the house

queen's bitch: I'm concerned 🤠

emo bitch #2: WTF

horse face: I wanna disagree but I'm scared

emo bitch: you should be

cap america wannabe: babe wtF

mf bitch: hey

emo bitch: got problems?

mf bitch: yes  
mf bitch: change my name you shorty

cap america wannabe: oop-

bloodhound: ^

banana: ^^

foureyes: ^^^

alcoholic: ^^^^

monke: ^^^^^

queen: I think everyone can agree you're so dead

laina: rip🙏

colossal dick: #rip #hewastherealone

cap america wannabe: why is levi offline

emo bitch #2: I saw he walking angrily down the block  
emo bitch #2: probably off to kill him

mf bitch: GUYS SOMEONE COME TAJE THIS LITTLE BITCH AWAY

monke: I feel you

FIGHT: is that why he's good at cleaning?

coconut head: ???

FIGHT: so he can clean blood of his victims

coconut head: it makes sense 

bloodhound: is no one gonna help nile?

monke: trust me you dont wanna be there

chicken: just saw oni-chan levi carrying a body

crackhead: he dropped the body in garbage 

cap america wannabe: ty babe💕  
cap america wannabe: you did a favor to humanity

queen's bitch: are you literally supporting him?

cap america wannabe: are you questioning me?

queen's bitch: holy mother of god these mfs are scary  
queen's bitch: historia baby come pick me up I'm scared

FIGHT: JSBDJDNKDNDJDK

horse face: did ymir FUCKING GOT SCARED??

idiot: if ymir is scared then I'm shitting myself 

lainah: I think its because of his size

smol twin: what does it has to do with his size?

lainah: since he's small his anger got less place to boil

emo bitch: you're next

FIGHT:JSJSKSNJDJDKDKLBXK  
FIGHT: REINER IS DED ASF

emo bitch but blonde: and what makes you undead?

FIGHT: he beat the shit out of me before

emo bitch: is that supposed to stop me from beating you?

FIGHT:...  
FIGHT: REINER WHWRE ARE YIU HIDING

emo bitch #2: yo bitch dont touch my boyfriend 

emo bitch: like what you gonna do?

monke: OMFG BATTLE OF ACKERMEN

alcoholic: did you just refer them as ackermen not ackermans?

monke: :p

potato: out of topic but if I burn down a whole ass farm of corn will I have a big ass bowl of pop corn?

freckled jesus: what did I ever do to yall happen to me?

horse face: me

lainah: eXcUsE mE?

smol twin: that's gay jean

horse face: did j do something to proof you I'm not?

smol twin: i-

horse face: you're literally fuxking reiner

smol twin: i-

big twin: #exposed 

smol twin: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME

big twin: right  
big twin: 🏳️🌈

smol twin: I cant believe I was in the same womb with you for 9 months 

queen's bitch: I'm concerned again 

coconut head: sir levi?

emo bitch: ???

coconut head: can you bring one of those body you killed?

emo bitch: wha-

coconut head: I need it to trial

emo bitch: what trial?

coconut head: to sacrifice for satan

emo bitch: ...

lainah: he seemed innocent

clossal dick: appearly it was all a cover

horse face: who said it was his body?

queen: now I'm concerned too

emo bitch: do you got any preference for the body you're asking for?

monke: how many body you got there?

emo bitch: what you wanna join my collection?

monke:...

FIGHT: zeke dipped

lainah: the fact that levi got a collection of bodies 

smol twin: is that why everyone is scared of him?

bloodhound: he literally got kicked out of his previous school for breaking a guy's shoulder and leg

alcoholic: the dude literally changed state

bloodhound: how did erwin ended up with him?

foureyes: its cause of hormones 

alcoholic: come again 

foureyes: the kink hormones 

banana: is this even a thing?

monke: that's hot😏

cap america wannabe: did this bitch just called levi hot?

banana: I can confirm ✋🏼

cap america wannabe: SQUARE TF BITCH

monke: I LITERALLY BROKE YOUR ARM OFF LAST TIME

cap america wannabe: ...

emo bitch #2: I sensed fight

emo bitch but blonde: everyone gangsta till levi shows up🤠

monke: who's side are you annie?

emo bitch but blonde: the winner side💆🏻♂️

monke: that's a tricky answer tho🙄

FIGHT: GO BIG BRO GET HIS ASS

monke: that's the spirit 

coconut head: WHERE?

monke:...

banana: WHIP FLOOR WITH HIS ASS ERWIN

monke: FR? MEET ME BIHIND MCDONALD'S 

cap america wannabe: BITCH IM HERE

monke: DONT BRING LEVI

emo bitch: I'm literally sitting here

banana: can I come?

monke: for what?

banana: it's nice to see two blonde butch fight over a twink

foureyes: #exposed 

emo bitch: I want to see how they kill each other

foureyes: I'm on my way

bloodhound: oi zeke bring your homies too

smol twin: gangbang?

alcoholic: gangbang


	2. zeke trying to get in hood side of levi: failed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just normal chaos

at "survey corps' hoes"

emo bitch: who got the guts to leave a flower in front of my house?

foureyes: erwin?

emo bitch: it cant be

foureyes: how so?

cap america wannabe: I'm sitting beside him

bloodhound: why?

cap america wannabe: to measure his asshole  
cap america wannabe: is that even a question?

banana: you didnt have to be THAT specific 

emo bitch: then who

FIGHT: probably zeke

monke: WTF

FIGHT: YOU'RE LITERALLY A SIMP FOR HIM 

lainah: ^

big twin: ^^

smol twin: ^^^

clossal dick: ^^^^

finger: ^^^^^

emo bitch but blonde: even pieck-  
emo bitch but blonde: guess zeke is ded

coconut head: can I have his corpse😃

horse face: what you do with all these bodies?

coconut head: you cant sum satan buy sacrificing these worthless humans

freckled jesus: I dont wanna get involved   
freckled jesus: but what exactly you mean by worthless part 

coconut head: the more sins, the better😄

freckled jesus: that emoji scares me

horse face: your name should've been spawn of devil

cap america wannabe: that's not how you talk yo my child

colossal dick: your WHA-

cap america wannabe: my son

lainah: I just want to die but armin way seems painful 

coconut head: you just gonna feel tingly   
coconut head: and a lil bit bloodlose

lainah: I prefer a bus hit me

colossal dick: I lost my shit at armin being erwin son

foureyes: wbk 

smol twin: how?

big twin: last time I checked erwin was 18

smole twin: and armin is like 15

cap america wannabe: an small price for something this magnificent 

lainah: TF

smol twin: oh maybe the eyebrows 

big twin: ye the eyebrows are same

colossal dick: eren how much of a friend are you with armin?

FIGHT: he's like my bro

lainah: WTF

FIGHT: you think how I managed to live this long?  
FIGHT: I just jump head first into fights literally 

lainah: though mikasa saved your ass

FIGHT: that too

colossal dick: I thought armin's only dream about ocean

coconut head: I dream about ocean made of blood of my sacrifices

colossal dick: ANNIE HALP

emo bitch but blonde: you're literally 6'4 and scared of a 4'11 blondie?

colossal dick: that 4'11 sacrifice ppl for satan

emo bitch but blonde: do you armin?

coconut head: wanna see it?

emo bitch but blonde: ye💕

lainah: did that 4'11 stole your crush?

colossal dick: at verge of feeding armin to dogs

bloodhound: I'm not eating virgins

colossal dick: 👁👄👁

FIGHT: no one is talking about the yesterday fight?

bloodhound: it didnt happen

FIGHT: why

bloodhound: zeke went to wrong McDonald's 

FIGHT: ...

bloodhound: I'm pretty sure he dipped

emo bitch #2: his weak ass couldn't fight

monke: levi was there

bloodhound: you were supposed to fight erwin not levi

monke: levi would kill me if I touch him

bloodhound: cant believe you're scared of a 4'11 emo bitch

colossal dick: what's wrong with 4'11 ppl? why they're scary?

monke: he beat you too

bloodhound: no he didn't 

monke: cause erwin was there

bloodhound: 🤠

emo bitch but blonde: I dont like that emoji 

emo bitch #2:🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

emo bitch but blonde: HALP

lainah: is it because it reminds you of kenny?

emo bitch but blonde: ARMIN 

coconut head: on it

emo bitch #2: wish he was my uncle  
emo bitch #2: hes so cool

emo bitch: more like uncool  
emo bitch: I knew how to hold a knife before I knew how to write

emo bitch #2: that's nice

FIGHT: mikasa you're already scary 

emo bitch: its family tradition you uncultured swine 

FIGHT: im-

horse face: better stay away or you'll get stabbed

monke: he's handy with knife

FIGHT: I dont wanna know how you know it

monke: he left one of them in my abdomen 💕

FIGHT: why the hearts?

monke: that's how an Ackerman show their feeling 💕

FIGHT: you're fucked up more than me bro

monke: its jeager thing

FIGHT:👁👄👁

coconut head: ereh.exe stopped working

foureyes: one time I manage to do the same thing to levi

monke: I'm interested 

foureyes: go away bitch  
foureyes: mob get his ass

monke: he's literally harmless 

alcoholic: do you remember when your lights went out?

monke: 👁👄👁

coconut head: bother jaegers are out

FIGHT: wait was that you?  
FIGHT: how did you-

alcoholic: I have my ways

monke: is anyone sain here?

bloodhound: you're literally among us

banana: you're either gay or mentally unstable 

FIGHT: I wanted to fight but-

emo bitch: I just asked who tf send this flowers and both jaegers are out of server wtf

cap america wannabe: just kill someone randomly 

emo bitch: nah our son wants the body with the sins  
emo bitch: spit it out who was it

...

emo bitch: okei I use force  
emo bitch: reiner?

lainah: since you'll kill the person anyway I gotta say its zeke

monke: snitch

FIGHT: it's kinda obvious tbh

horse face: fr who's dumb enough to gift flower to levi?

FIGHT: my half ass of brother

emo bitch but blonde: try knives or guns

FIGHT: dont give him ideas 

monke: on it

emo bitch: if I see you in my hood I snipe you

bloodhound: your hood is already scary  
bloodhound: I doubt anyone live there without weapons

emo bitch: you'll be given a weapon at age of 6 by your choice

lainah; you got rituals?

emo bitch: more or less

banana: and what was yours?

emo bitch: a knife

banana: how tf is erwin is still alive?

bloodhound: he got free pass to that hood

monke: I thought gangsta ppl were into pussy and money not gay  
emo bitch: my uncle is literally gay  
emo bitch: you watch too much american movies

monke: and where are you from?

foureyes: hes half french

monke: even mikasa?

emo bitch: she's literally Japanese   
emo bitch: tf she has to do with me?

bloodhound: fr? I thought you were cousin 

emo bitch: ...

emo bitch #2: idk what we are tbh  
emo bitch #2: but I'm sure about I'm half Jewish 

emo bitch: that is tru

FIGHT: what a mix

monke: and erwin is german?

cap america wannabe: ye what's problem?

monke: the history 

emo bitch: usa fucked Japan before yet your brother is still alive

bloodhound: OMFG RACISM 

foureyes: did monkey tried pull the history shit on levi?

banana: you lost your only chance

alcoholic: was there even a chance?

banana: not that I know of

emo bitch #2: I think zeke dipped

chicken: he better

crackhead: levi is sharpening his knife

bloodhound: nanaba bring your camera  
bloodhound: we gonna make some action movie

smol twin: gangbang?

alcoholic: gangbang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave kudos and comments  
> if you hot any ideas just drop it <3


	3. rip zeke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's no brain in sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're at school

at "gangbang"

finger: just walked onto reiner and porco making out😀  
finger: traumatized 

big twin: SHBEJDJDINALSJ

monke: I thought you went to bathroom 

finger: didnt know boys are allowed in girls bathroom 

colossal dick: reiner can you explain yourself   
colossal dick: you just traumatized pieck

lainah: i-  
lainah: I wanted to say I want to explain but it will be more awkward 

colossal dick: cant be more awkward than rn

monke: why you two fuck in school bathroom?  
monke: IN GIRLS BATHROOM 

lainah: you go after levi ass

monke: he got exam rn so I cant do much

reiner: stalker

finger: I'm still traumatized 🛶👄🛶

lainah: ...

monke: was reiner a bottom or top?  
monke: I'm betting 100 bucks hes bottom

lainah: why are you betting on my ass you monkey

finger: hes a bottom

lainah: WTF PIECK

finger: I got so much info that I can overthrow a country

monke: I just asked for reiner being bottom not overthrowing kingdoms sis  
monke: chile n e gays

colossal dick: how is girls bathroom?

finger: you fucking perv

colossal dick: I-

smol twin: they dont have urinals  
smol twin: and everything is clean  
smol twin: feels like levi been here

finger: idk how to respond tbh  
finger: WHY IN TF WERE YOU MAKING OUT WITH REINER IN GIRLS BATHROOM 

smol twin: the boys one was full

finger: how-  
finger: its class time

smol twin: is that supposed to stop guys from peeing

finger: the more I talk to yall the more I lose braincells 

big twin: 👁👄➖

finger: tf

emo bitch: just came back and someone changed the gc name

monke: it was pieck

finger: snitch

emo bitch: it's a fitting name tbh

monke: WHA-

finger: ik right?

monke: you were supposed to kill her

emo bitch: shes the only perosn with morals among you

finger: eat shit zeke

emo bitch: whatever lady said

reiner: roasted

emo bitch: also I need to change some stuff

emo bitch changed their name to thug  
thug changed emo bitch #2 name to emo bitch

smol twin: pretty sure levi didnt make this gc but why is he admin?

potato: eren made it and levi somehow ended up being admin

smol twin: that's sus

idiot: he got ass whooping season for naming Levi the gay ackerman

smol twin: he wasnt lying tho

thug:🗿

monke: dont you wanna change mine?

thug: its fitting  
thug: right pieck?

finger: suits him 

monke: can't believe you side with him

finger: we drink tea and talk shit behind yall back

lainah: GAH DAYUM

alcoholic: just saw hanji purr a whole ass jar of white powder in her coffee   
alcoholic: with some vitamins 

bloodhound: what was the white powder?

banana: cocaine 

bloodhound: and how do you know?

banana: you dont wanna know💕

lainah: where tf were yall?

bloodhound: we had an exam we didn't study for😀

cap america wannabe: good we got levi

lainah: he doesnt seems like a nerd

colossal dick: he seems more of a guy that bullies you

smol twin: and take your lunch money

thug: bitch I'm not just a mer bully  
thug: only fake ass bitches do that low shit

smol twin: being bully got levels?

thug: ye like reiner is afraid of annie legs

colossal dick: why legs?

lainah: why you drag my ass🙄

emo bitch but blonde: that's my weapon

lainah: ye her legs are strong 

colossal dick: 👁👄👁

thug: just saw someone ass got whooped  
thug: who was it

horse face: eren

freckled jesus: probably eren

idiot: def eren 

potato: I bet on my chips it was eren

emo bitch: it was eren

thug: why didnt you save his ass again?

emo bitch: he said he can handle it

thug: jaegers cant do shit  
thug: dont trust their bullshit

emo bitch: noted🤺

monke: hey‼

thug: especially this monkey

monke: why you even call me that??

thug: you didnt shaved your facial hair cAuSe iT mAdE yOu lOoK mAnLy

monke: it looks good on me tho

thug: your clones are in LA

lainah: KSBDJDNJEKDKD

colossal dick: WTFSJDJLEJDIDK

big twin: ROASTED

smol twin: you made wierd sound while laughing 🙄

big twin: we literally laugh the same tf you talking about

smol twin: no we dont  
smo twin: it's mostly because you're hetro

big twin: 🤠

emo bitch but blonde: not the emoji

emo bitch: 🤠🤠🤠🤠

emo bitch but blonde: can you NOT?

emo bitch: no🤠

thug: how tf did you got traumatized by my uncle again 

cap america wannabe: never heard the story

bloodhound: ye sis spill the tea

banana: dont talk like that pls- 

bloodhound: shhhhh babe

emo bitch but blonde: I'm not telling you shit

thug: reiner?

lainah: it was a dare

emo bitch but blonde: snitch

colossal dick: HOW TF YOU SOLD ANNIE

lainah: step forward if you wanna talk to levi

colossal dick: I'm fine here thanks

lainah: just like I thought   
lainah: we dared annie to steal air fryer from historia house

emo bitch: I dont get how does it connects to kenny

queen: ANNIE WAS IN MY HOUSE?!??!?!?

queen's bitch: love your house security 

bloodhound: shhhhh let him finish

banana: why are you interested?

bloodhound: I own a google doc of all shits yall done

monke:👁👄👁

bloodhound: yours and your bro is kinda full

alcoholic: I thought hanji was weird 

monke: I'm scared

bloodhound: I love the smell of stress on you

monke: we're not even in same class rn

lainah: do you bark too?

banana: I once saw he growl at levi  
banana: he ended up with a broken nose

bloodhound: shhhhh reiner do continue 

lainah: ye and appearly she saw kenny and uri fucking

emo bitch but blonde: ‼TRAUMATIZED ‼

queen: sorry didnt put a warning before you broke in my house

queen's bitch: at least she didnt see us fucking

lainah: WTF

queen's bitch: BARK BARK

monke: wow she actually barked

big twin: she FUCKING BARKED AT HER PHONE

queen's bitch: besides since when you were into girls?

monke: #exposed 

smol twin: he FUCKING DIPPED

coconut head: do anyone know where can I find eren's corpse?

monke: is he that much dead?

thug: his ass got whooped

horse face: clapped his ass🤠

FIGHT: fuck

emo bitch: you still alive?

coconut head: canceling ceremony 

FIGHT: what ceremony?

emo bitch: we wanted to bring you back from hell

FIGHT: I'm not dead WTF

lainah: the fact they were sure they can find you in hell

FIGHT: CAUSE IM A BAD BITCH

thug: first move from your puberty then talk about bitches brat

colossal dick: KSHDINRJRJEKSMS

finger: who's that tall boy?

smol twin: which one?

finger: the blonde one  
finger: he seems new

monke: who?

finger: idk his name but hes damn tall

monke: is"he" tall like 2 meters?

finger: ye?

monke: it's a she  
monke: and her name is yelena

cap america wannabe: does it has to do with you being an stalker?

monke: she's literally by my side

lainah: I feel like pieck is having a gay panic rn

colossal dick: WTF SHE'S EVEN TALLER THAN ME  
colossal dick: OBJECTION

monke: isnt accepted

finger: gonna get her number

smol twin: GO GET HER ASS

thug: ...  
thug: that's not how you cheer someone you dumb fuck

smol twin: why there's instructions for every shit?

big twin: he ain't my bro

smol twin: just got disowned by my own bro🤧  
smol twin: #depressed #onlyrealonesknow

lainah: ZEKE WTFSJDJKDMDKD

monke: STFU

lainah: OMFG BRO YOU'RE DONE

bloodhound: spill the tea 

banana: for fuck sake  
banana: stop talking like that   
banana: you got body of a bear and talk like blonde girls

bloodhound: I'm blonde😻💅🏼

lainah: ZEKE WAS LISTENING TO POP SMOKE AND DOING WHATEVER THE SHIT IT SAID

horse face: add details 

monke: NOSODJKDNDJ  
monke: PLS STAWPEPDJJD

lainah: IM WHEEZING 

freckled jesus: was wondering why reiner was cleaning the floor with himself now I look at this gc ik why

lainah: DONT BE SHY ZEKE TELL US WHAT WERE YOU SINGING

monke: DIE

lainah: I wish

smol twin: babe we've talked about this-

lainah: LEMMES SEND FOOTAGE 

emo bitch: he's gonna get roasted in footage

lainah send an attachment 

colossal dick: WTFWJDJDKJDKE

smol twin: I bet on my bro's hetro ass he was gesturing for Levi's ass

big twin: yo fucker-

emo bitch but blonde: is that your kinky desire?

monke: PLSJDJDBDKHEJE

emo bitch but blonde: probably his nasty dreams looks like that

cap america wannabe: did he mean by ass fat jello Levi's ass?

banana: #exposed 

thug: im-

monke left the chat  
smol twin: WTF

FIGHT: why zeke is calling for dad to come pick him up?

cap america wannabe: better run

lainah: is levi after his ass?

bloodhound: he gonna make his ass jello🍑

cap america wannabe: or smoke his ass🚬

FIGHT: ZEKE IS RUNNING AND LEVI AFTER HIM

emo bitch: theres no chance zeke make it alive

emo bitch but blonde: hey armin

coconut head: yes

emo bitch but blonde: start another ceremony 

coconut head: YAAY

colossal dick: i-

foureyes: I was in another universe 

alcoholic: does it has to anything with you drinking cocaine?

foureyes: I'm good hbu?

alcoholic: I'm gonna be alcoholic when I finish school

smol twin: is that your dream job?

alcoholic: yes

queen's bitch: hey babe remove zeke name from our list

colossal dick: which list?

queen's bitch: our wedding  
queen's bitch: appearly he wont make it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zeke was listening to pop smoke hello  
> if you listen you can imagine what I mean💅🏼


	4. eren's twin

at "gangbang"

horse face: just found eren's twin sister ✌🏼

FIGHT: my WGHAT

freckled jesus: your twin sis

FIGHT: DE FAWQ

horse face: dont talk you dont know her

FIGHT: did my dad fucked someone else too?  
FIGHT: ZEKE  
FIGHT: WHERE'S THAT BITCH?

lainah: half alive

FIGHT: what why

lainah: levi happened   
lainah: hes unconcious rn

FIGHT: I didnt see him at home   
FIGHT: WHERE TF IS HE

lainah: at my house  
lainah: levi is waiting for him in front of your house

colossal dick: such a nice life you have 

lainah: I myself am traumatized already   
lainah: idk what did I do wrong

FIGHT: you exist

lainah: i-

idiot: you used to have a good humor and now you have death wish

lainah: thanks it's for trauma💅🏼😻

potato: but fr come collect your sister  
potato: she keep kicking my leg

smol twin: sucker punch her

big twin: since when you got this violence?

smol twin: since when I had to share same womb with you

big twin: hoe

freckled jesus: what should I do with this small furry??  
freckled jesus: shes too angry

FIGHT: bro i got no sis leave me alone  
FIGHT: wheres my assjack bro?

lainah: hes unconcious   
lainah: he wakes up every 3 hours scream Levi's name and pass out 

idiot: he will never listen to music ever again 

potato: or his ass will be smoked

lainah: he's awake now add him if you want

FIGHT added zeke  
FIGHT changed zeke name to father's disappointment 

father's disappointment: seriously?

FIGHT: it fits

thug: I raised him good 

father's disappointment: HOLYSHDJANSJ

lainah: dont shock him

FIGHT: eyo my bitch ass bro  
FIGHT: these hoes are saying we got a sis

father's disappointment: since when?

FIGHT: jean?

horse face: shes short dark brown hair angry and she seems to be 12 or something 

FIGHT: how short? Levi's short or hisu short?

thug: you jaegers got death wish?

horse face: hisu

queen: why are yall dragging my ass?

potato: using you as measure 

queen: wtF

laianh: WAIT BITCH THAT'S NOT EREN'S SIS  
lainah: THATS MY COUSIN WTF

horse face: your WHAT

idiot: why isnt she blonde?

potato: omg connie you cant ask ppl why they arent blonde

lainah: her names gabi  
lainah: unfortunately she's possessed by eren

FIGHT: TF IT HAS TO DO WITH ME?!??!?

lainah: she's hot headed just like you  
laianh: and it wasnt for falco she was dead already 

freckled jesus: a copy of eren and mikasa but gender swapped  
freckled jesus : got it✌🏼

FIGHT: WHO TF IS FALCO

freckled jesus: mikasa but boi   
freckled jesus: and appearly blonde

laianh: how you know that?

freckled jesus: he came collect your cousin

horse face: hes too polite to be miksas

emo bitch: yo fucker

horse face: as I was saying  
horse face: more like armin

potato: ye he seemed too polite  
potato: and he didnt seem to want stab us

emo bitch: I'm coming at your ass

potato: pls HALP

emo bitch: just got new pair of knives today

potato: test em on annie

emo bitch: oh thanks for reminding

emo bitch but blonde: sasha you LITTLE POTATO SHIT

laianh: I've never seen them fight

colossal dick: ye such a great battle it will be

smol twin: I'm betting 10 bucks annie will win

big twin: you just said you got no money when I wanted some punch juice?

smol twin: I got none for you

big twin: ✌🏼👁👄👁

idiot: but fr who will win?

potato: I'm betting on my noodles mikasa

FIGHT: but annie whooped my ass once  
FIGHT: and when we were kids mikasa sucker punch me

horse face: use yourself as measurement to see who's stronger

FIGHT: STFU

queen: I think they kill each other

freckled jesus: how come?

queen: both are strong and they wont give up until they bleed out  
queen: now do continue fighting 

FIGHT: i-

lainah: she looked like an e girl I swear

queen's bitch: she's a demon in skin of angel

coconut head: DEMON WHERE?

colossal dick: WTF YOU WANNA DO WITH DEMON

coconut head: you have no idea how hard it is to catch one if em

colossal dick: excuse me?  
colossal dick: catch?

coconut head: 😏

colossal dick: these twinks are scary

smol twin: YO PIECK WHO'S THE TREE WALKING BY YOUR SIDE 

finger: she ma lil boo thang

smol twin: is that little for you?

father's disappointment: just letting you know she's 2 meters

finger: levi?

thug: yes?

finger: add yelena

thug: on it

father's disappointment: how is he feral around you?

finger: bottoms supporting each other

thug added yelena 

finger: here comes my boo thang

yelena: sup

foureyes: OH HAI YELENA

yelena: hi wierdo

thug: bring yelena for our evening tea

yelena: I see youre man of culture 

father's disappointment: he's 18 gorl 

yelena: who tf are you?

father's disappointment: zeke

yelena: KSJDIDBKSBXJMSKS

father's disappointment: tf you laughing at?

yelena: your name

father's disappointment: wait till levi name you

thug changed yelena to Russian chick

russian chick: he ain't lying tho✌🏼😻

father's disappointment: I hate yall

thug: like we care

FIGHT: imagine caring about your existence 

finger: I live up to see levi rejecting you

father's disappointment: lemme dip

FIGHT: ye go play baseball bitch boi

horse face: BSJSGEISVJWKSKSJSJ

lainah: PLS NO HE'S GOING TO STAY HERE MORE

father's disappointment: you too?

lainah: sorry but you keep on whining about levi not recognizing you  
lainah: like sis he recognized you enough to beat that ass up

banana: oh no he's talking like that too

lainah: period💅🏼

banana: i-

bloodhound: PERIOD 💅🏼

banana: now there's two of them

cap america wannabe: since when mike says period??

banana: dunno he's you're friend

thug: I've never seen mike acting like that  
thug: probably its because he's spending time with you

banana: TF IT HAS TO DO WITY ME?

thug: he's your bf

banana: die

thug: bitch try

queen's bitch: the way I wanna punch this lik shit

horse face: who?

queen's bitch: eren

FIGHT: why me?

queen's bitch: I feel like you're doing something stupid

FIGHT:...

coconut head: actually I was using him as pray 

queen's bitch: see? my feelings are always tru

FIGHT: FUK YALL  
FIGHT: COME HERE MY BLONDE BRO LETS KILL SOME DEMONS

coconut head: YAAY

queen's bitch: the only demon I see is you


	5. armin's sex dungeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> normal chaos

at "armin's sex dungeon"

bloodhound: woke up to this name-

thug: armin WTF-

cap america wannabe: bye

thug: come collect your son

cap america wannabe: lemme dip

FIGHT: armin-

foureyes: these gen z kids-

banana: girl you're gen z too wtf

foureyes: I was born milenia 

emo bitch: she different breed 😈🥶👊💯

smol twin: COOCHIE MAN

big twin: 🙄

smol twin: STFU

big twin: arent reiner boobs enough for you?

lainah: BITCH WTG

emo bitch but blonde: his boobs are bigger than mine  
emo bitch but blonde: that's not fair

freckled jesus: just saw porco grab reiner boob😀

horse face: you really got no place to talk

freckled jesus: why tho

horse face: you suddenly bite me

smol twin: kinky

horse face: BYE

queen's bitch: wow marco that move was hawt

freckled jesus: thanks

FIGHT: WHAT DID HE DO

smol twin: SLAPPED JEAN'S ASS  
smol twin: HE'S GUCKING RUBNING IT IMSJDHSIJ

big twin: gucking-

smol twin: STFU 

big twin: dont make me disown you again 

smol twin: like you can

big twin: I'm older than you

smol twin: only 5 mins

big twin: still

smol twin: die

horse face: WHY DID YOU SLAPPED MY ASS

freckled jesus: you lack boob but not ass

emo bitch but blonde: okei calm you titties homo

crackhead: bold words for someone who is dating a femboy 

thug: my bro came with full hands

chicken: #exposed 

emo bitch but blonde: you fucker-

crackhead: I'm calling kenny

emo bitch but blonde: NO PSLJDJDJD

chicken: *evil laughter*  
chicken: *calls kenny cutely*

emo bitch but blonde: HALP

thug: dont ever talk shit to my homie or my lil' one

father's disappointment: so you own a cult

thug: fuck off bitch  
thug: I'm sure I hit you enough hard

father's disappointment: I keep your love marks 

thug: BITCHAJSJDKSKS

FIGHT: its disgusting to see my older be desperate in love yet the person dont give a FAWQ

thug: you jaegers are like this

FIGHT: YOU LISTEN TO ROCK

Russian chick: a man of culture 

thug: appearly I got a tea cult too

finger: why Petra ain't here?

thug: lemme add her

thug added petra

russian chick: sup buttercup

petra: i-  
petra: I guess hi

smol twin: yelena STAWWP YOU'RE MAKING GIRLS GAY

russian chick: such a fruitful day☕

Petra: def is

smol twin: im-

colossal dick: why levi is in tea cult with 3 girls?

big twin: appesrly he got all chicks around him

thug: jealous?  
thug: also my homie furlan is among us

colossal dick: lucky him

crackhead: I talk for levi

colossal dick: how?

crackhead: he ain't sociable 

thug: I'm right here you bitch

FIGHT: I'm bored  
FIGHT: LETS COMMIT ARSON

lainah: seems like a fun plan if we all die in the end

smol twin: babe-

potato: if it involves food then im in

FIGHT: WE GONNA GO TO MCDONALDS 

chicken: FUK YEEE

horse face: when I see how hype you are i feel exhausted 

chicken: it's a sign

horse face: for what

chicken: you're getting old✋🏼🤧

horse face: IM NOT-

chicken: crusty old man

horse face: WTF

thug: shhhhh your bro is scared of that word

FIGHT: what word

thug: MCDONALDS 

father's disappointment: I'm not

thug: then why last time you didnt come for fight

father's disappointment: im going to do laundry bye

lainah: such a nice house wife

emo bitch: if eren is going then I should go to make sure no one dies

coconut head: LETS WRECK HOVAC 

thug: erwin I said come collect your offspring 

cap america wannabe: let him play hes just a kid

thug: you mean playing with demons

cap america wannabe: go easy on em babe

father's disappointment: 🙄

thug: go do your laundry hoe  
thug: wash them clean

father's disappointment: his house wife side kicked in

petra: be glad you're not around him when his house wife side kicks in

cap america wannabe: just saying cause zeke could never see it  
cap america wannabe: he owns a maid outfit 

father's disappointment: JSBDJDJWSKJSKS

FIGHT: he's lagging

bloodhound: you went hard on him bro

cap america wannabe: this will disable his system for rest of day

foureyes: now he gon imagine about Levi in maid outfit 

alcoholic: thsi week he got his ass whooped cause he said Levi's ass fat jello

thug: that's my ass you're talking about 

foureyes: you dont know power of simp

alcoholic: and you do?

banana: they fucking got dirty fantasy about werewolves and these shits 

bloodhound: how are you in relationship with them again?

alcoholic: I drank too much I lost my grip on reality 

bloodhound: noice💅🏼

banana: mike next time I aim for your balls

bloodhound: tehe✌🏼😏

FIGHT: WHO KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE?

horse face: marco got car

freckled jesus: guess gonna spend the night in jail

idiot: YEEEEETH ARSON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave kudos and comment will be appreciated <3


	6. arrested.for being sexy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hoes belong to jail

at "house arrest"

thug: I really want to know how did they manage to get themselves in such deep shit

cap america wannabe: wym

bloodhound: wait they got arrested??

father's disappointment: yes

banana: how much of them

freckled jesus: like all of us

thug: HOW TF ARE YOU OUT

freckled jesus: I pretended I dont know them

banana: nasty move

freckled jesus: I'm not spending the night with these hoes sorry

foureyes: isnt your boyfriend among em?

freckled jesus: that's my only regret 

thug: I JUST REMEMBERED THAT ISABEL IS AMONG THEM WTFF

cap america wannabe: your homie furlan too

thug: I WAS MAKING PANCAKES NOW I GOTTA GO BRING THEIR ASS OUT OF JAIL

father's disappointment: can I have some

thug: no

cap america wannabe: can I?

thug: how many?

cap america wannabe: 5 is enough 

father's disappointment: that's racist 

foureyes: JSHDUHWKHSSOL

bloodhound: HOW IN TF IS THAT RACIST?!??!

father's disappointment: it feels like

banana: your bro is in jail

father's disappointment: ik

banana: dont you wanna do something?

father's disappointment: if he stays there he will understand he shouldn't commit arson for fun

foureyes: he acts like Russian strick parents 

russian chick: dont ruin russia for this hoe

father's disappointment: bitch-

russian chick: I know where's he from  
russian chick: hoeland

bloodhound: JSBDJSKAJHZOAK

foureyes: WTSFHSJDJSKZKZ

cap america wannabe: ROASTED TO BONE

thug: wow even I couldn't roast you that much

father's disappointment: dont bully me you hoes

russian chick: we ain't hoes that you

foureyes: this gc is so lame when kids arent here

alcoholic: we're senior citizens and they're bunch of teenagers 

foureyes: I loved them like they were my own child 

thug: they ain't ded just locked up

father's disappointment: ugh eren is home

freckled jesus: reuniting with my bf

horse face: stfu you sold me  
horse face: dont give me those eyes

freckled jesus: pls🥺

horse face: fine but buy me something they starved us

freckled jesus: YAAY✌🏼😀

banana: MANIPULATION 100

bloodhound: period💅🏼

banana: that's it  
banana: I'm coming at your balls

bloodhound: lemme dip

FIGHT: FUCK YEEEEE

chicken: that was the most amazing and full of adrenaline part of my life

thug: tf did you do?

queen's bitch: sasha set the place at fire

cap america wannabe: is my son alive?

coconut head: yup

cap america wannabe: good

queen's bitch: he was traumatizing one of staff 

cap america wannabe: the question is did you have fun?

coconut head: now I got an slave

alcoholic: WTF

FIGHT: WE SHOULD DO IT MORE

chicken: WE CAN ATTACK THEM AT HALLOWEEN WITH ARMIN DEMONS

FIGHT: BEST IDEA BESTIE

thug: I'm disowning you two

chicken: no you wont

thug: how come?

chicken: you love us

thug: tch

banana: how did you manage to burn down McDonalds

potato: I wanted to make food for myself so I went to kitchen

idiot: actually it was me who set it on fire

bloodhound: how?

idiot: I've seen videos on yt that if you mix cold water and hot oil it will explode 

father's disappointment: and you tried it while knowing?

idiot: I wont believe shit if I dont see it myself 

smol twin: I had to bring reiner out forcefully   
smol twin: mf wanted to die there

lainah: WHY WONT YOU LEMME DIE 

smol twin: not on my watch bitch

big twin: this bitch needs therapy 

emo bitch: how could you move his ass  
emo bitch: he got body of a football player

smol twin: I love his ass

colossal dick: thanks for remembering me

big twin: OMFG WE FORGOT BERT

lainah: HE'S STILL THERE?

colossal dick: ye the chicken is a bit dry tbh

smol twin: WE'RE COMING BRO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comment will be appreciated <3


	7. Chapter 7

"house arrest"

horse face: but fr they should fix the jail

idiot: ye it was a lil bit dirty

freckled jesus: glad I wasnt there

horse face: bitch-

potato: they didn't give us anything to eat too

crackhead: we went jail not theme park

chicken: STFU FUR IT WAS A NEW EXPERIENCE 

crackhead: if it wasnt for Levi we were there gorl

chicken: aniki wont leave us there

FIGHT: I COULD'VE BEATEN THE COPS 

lainah: you hardly handle your bullies without mikasa's help

colossal dick: tru asf

FIGHT: STFU WHY DIDNT YOU STAY THERE

lainah: porco dragged me out

smol twin: you're not dying before me

lainah: here we go again  
lainah: you leaving me with more holes in life

colossal dick: you wanna go therapy?

lainah: the dude said there's no hope left for me

colossal dick: i-

queen's bitch: if you dont think about eren being a bitch the whole time it was nice

FIGHT: BITCH-

queen's bitch: come again?

FIGHT: 🙄

queen's bitch: SQUARE TF UP HOE  
queen's bitch: IMMA FUCK YO ASS UP

FIGHT: no

queen's bitch: DONT CHICK AWAY YOU LITTLE SHIT

FIGHT: *chicks away cutely*

queen: DID YOU SEE THE FIRE COLORS?

idiot: HOW DID YOU DO THAT??!!?

queen: chemistry 

idiot: talk like I'm at my first grade

queen's bitch: how do you even know how to type?

idiot: autocorrect 

queen's bitch: idk should I bully you or be sorry for you

father's disappointment: JOTAROOOO

cap america wannabe: DIOOO

father's disappointment: HOE

cap america wannabe: i-  
cap america wannabe: that's not the right dialogue 

father's disappointment: I do whatever I want

cap america wannabe: that's Loki's dialogue too

father's disappointment: dont correct me

cap america wannabe: STOPWPJDKDN  
cap america wannabe: TOO MANY REFERENCES 

father's disappointment: JUST SAW YELENA WALKING BY LEVI

thug: what part of it was funny?

father's disappointment: YOU'RE HALF OF HER  
father's disappointment: IM DYEIJEHEJENJSJ

thug: at least I'm not my father's disappointment 

FIGHT: WHSGEJNDJDKSNSO

father's disappointment: you dont even have dad to begin with

thug: he wasnt meant to be with an ackerman

bloodhound: period💅🏼

banana: 🙄

bloodhound: ✌🏼😏

banana: have some shame for your beard

bloodhound: el oh el💋

banana: I'm breaking up with you

cap america wannabe: you shitted bro

bloodhound: ye I feel it

father's disappointment: wait  
father's disappointment: so ackerman isnt your last name from father side?

thug: nope

father's disappointment: then what is it?

thug: dunno

father's disappointment: wanna make it jeager?😏

thug: why are you getting friendly?  
thug: MIKE BITE HIS ASS OFF

bloodhound: *plays russian music*  
bloodhound: on it my bro

cap america wannabe: zeke is wanted by thugs

queen's bitch: wont you just give up?  
queen's bitch: it's like 28368282927th time levi fucked you up

father's disappointment: should I duel with erwin?

queen's bitch: *face palm*

banana: your bro is more successful 

father's disappointment: we gonna match together 

bloodhound: what sorta match?

father's disappointment: both we gonna date ackermans

thug: I'm telling yall lemme kill him but yall are stopping me

cap america wannabe: dont dirty your already bloodied hands

thug: bye

FIGHT: ignore my bro just like my dad did

bloodhound: JSBXIBDKENDLA

FIGHT: my dad was testing his dick and zeke happened 

foureyes: I CANT PLSJSJDBJS

alcoholic: zeke better dip or they smoke your ass

banana: we wont hurt animals dont worry

FIGHT: in that case jean is safe too

lainah: JSBSJDJSKSNNWTF

horse face: YOU SHORT BITCH

FIGHT: WHAT YOU GOT AGAINST SHORT PPL

thug: ehem

FIGHT: NOW LEVI IS MAD TOO

thug: I dig grave for you two jeagers

colossal dick: where's annie?

emo bitch: off with armin

colossal dick: what? why?

emo bitch: she was curious about his rituals

colossal dick: about to bitchslap some kids

emo bitch: if I were you I wouldn't 

lainah: OOP-

smol twin: IF AN ACKERMAN IS SAYING STAY BACK I WILL LISTEN CAREFULLY 

big twin: why?

smol twin: you can get close so I can be the only child

big twin: IM NOT FALLING FOR YOUR TRICKS BITCH

crackhead: fr why armin is demonic?

cap america wannabe: that's my son

crackhead: wbk but wont he like-  
crackhead: hurt levi or anyone else?

cap america wannabe: why would he?  
cap america wannabe: like I have free pass to Levi's hood  
cap america wannabe: levi got free pass from my side

bloodhound: wow power couple 💅🏼

banana: LEMME LEAVE YOU

bloodhound: OK OK I WOMT DO IT 

father's disappointment: levi?

thug: no

father's disappointment: I didnt say anything 

thug: you're stupid so is your opinion so stfu

foureyes: dont hurt monkey's feelings Lee 

thug: WTF

foureyes: we're nature friendly 

father's disappointment: I'm right here

foureyes: STFU

FIGHT changed father's disappointment name to simp

simp: the amont of time yall change my name

FIGHT: wish I could change you too

thug: I raised him well

FIGHT: 😻

Russian chick: call your dad to come pick you up

finger: NWJDJLSHSLWKSJ

petra: HAHSHJDKSK

big twin: did these chicks just laughed at yelena's joke?

petra: ye got problem?

big twin: oh now I get it

finger: get what?

big twin: YALL SIMP FOR YELENA

foureyes: she's hot what's problem?

big twin: lemme dip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did yall like it? should I continue?


	8. lord of references

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exposing games in class gone wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> changed marcel and porco names from big/smol twin to big/smol bean cause its cuter

"house arrest"

chicken: IM BORED

thug: its class time sit your ass down

FIGHT: IM BORED TOO

thug: you stfu you're such a bad influence on her

horse face: for very first time I wanted to listen to what teacher is saying

idiot: yall listen?

horse face: nvm

potato: I'm having a feast at back of the class

coconut head: wish I could dip but then none of you would know shit

emo bitch: why tho

freckled jesus: armin and I are brains here  
freckled jesus: rest of them take notes from us

queen's bitch: wish I had class with you two

chicken: LETS EXPOSE PEOPLE

FIGHT: AWESOME IDEA BESTO FRIENDO

emo bitch: how they managed to become bestie over a night

coconut head: they went jail together 

crackhead: they share the same chaotic energy

emo bitch: now I get why levi adopted them both

chicken: back to exposing game

FIGHT: I FUCKING GOT AN ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF ONE OF YOU SHAKIRA DANCING

emo bitch: who is the bitch

FIGHT: I WANT THEY ADMIT IT

coconut head: BITCH WHO IS IT

potato: ok I'm curious 

freckled jesus: did the person got ass?

horse face: WHY ARE YOU AFTER THEIR ASS

lainah: wow jeez  
lainah: didnt know you were perv

freckled jesus: like half of you are ass-less

colossal dick: didnt have to drag me in

freckled jesus: eren is in list too

FIGHT: I SHIULD BE EXPOSING YALL NOT OPPOSITE 

idiot: which side am I?

freckled jesus: you're flat as tv

idiot: you didnt have to drive over me

FIGHT: THE PERSON GOT ASS

coconut head: are they mentally unstable?

lainah: if you wanna say my name just say it

freckled jesus: does the person got boobs?

smol bean: BRO WHAT SORTA QUESTION IS THAT 

freckled jesus: my questions doesnt aim for any gender

smol bean: TF DOES THAT MEAN

coconut head: it means reiner is in list

smol bean: WTF

emo bitch: if I'm correct the person got ass  
emo bitch: eren do they have boobs too?

FIGHT: NOOOO  
FIGHT: BITCH HIDE YOURSELF BEFORE THEY FIND YOUR ASS

chicken: is it the person I dared 50$ to do it?

FIGHT: YEEEE

chicken: OMFG

coconut head: so she knows

potato: are they into food?

FIGHT: IF IM BEING HONEST THEY'RE INTO THEIR MOM OMELETS 

potato: ik who it is

freckled jesus: wait how

potato: easy who loves their homemade omelet that their mother made with love

coconut head: OMFG ITS JEAN

freckled jesus: betrayed 

horse face: eren you're so ded

FIGHT: *chicks away cutely*

idiot: I thought you were talking about reiner all time

smol bean: he was hella sus tho

laianh: *sweats*

smol bean: DID YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

bloodhound: at March 26th last year Reiner Braun got in an club with fake id and got too drunk that they danced on a pole

horse face: i-

colossal dick: HOW IN TF YOU KNOW THAT

bloodhound: I told you I have a google doc of what yall done

colossal dick: BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE

bloodhound: nothing stops me

coconut head: HE EVEN GOT THE DATE WTF

emo bitch but blonde: I'm not sure at which part should I be worry about

potato: you got drunk underage?

idiot: it boomed more than Jean's footage

smol bean: WHO WERE YOU DANCING FOR

lainah: lemme dip

queen: for me

lainah: FUCK

emo bitch but blonde: YOU WERE THERE TOO?

queen: he said it will be fun and he wasnt lying tho

lainah: you have no idea how much I had to talk to they let her in

idiot: why

lainah: she's small like so small

colossal dick: he lied she's a gamer

lainah: I think the dude is still looking for her in yt

colossal dick: JSDJAHXIXNSK

smol bean: betrayed 

queen's bitch: control your bitch ass boyfriend 

smol bean: oi

emo bitch: EREN YOU OKEI?

FIGHT: HORSE FACE PUSHED ME OF STAIRS

emo bitch: WHY DID YIU DO THAT?

horse face: so he knows to not expose me

queen's bitch: SNITCHES END UP IN DITCHES

FIGHT: I THINK MY LEG IS BROKEN

horse face: wish I aimed for your hands or at least mouth

emo bitch: YOOOO

idiot: you just earned hatred of an ackerman

horse face: MARCO

freckled jesus: POLOOOO

horse face: it's not the right time for game babe  
horse face: COME SAVE ME FROM THIS EXOTIC ASIAN LADY

freckled jesus: sorry babe but I dont have any special abilities to fight an Ackerman 

FIGHT: she's not exotic 

horse face: WHA-

emo bitch: there are more of me than there are of you so you're the exotic one not me

horse face: TF

FIGHT: YOU HEARD THE ORDINARY AVERAGE ASIAN LADY

horse face: AAAAAAAAAAAAA

freckled jesus: all I can do is turn off light and let my freckles lead you in darkness 

lainah: TF

smol bean: wait does your freckles lights on?

freckled jesus: ye

queen: YMIR

queen's bitch: WHAT

queen: does yours too?

queen's bitch: dunno wanna test it?😏

queen: YEEEETH

lainah: she's luring you

queen's bitch: STFU YOU WHORE

lainah: wow so violence 

FIGHT: IF I KEEP ON BREAKING MY LEG WILL IT GET STRONGER?

horse face: lemme help you with that

potato: here I thought connie was dumbest

idiot: you're dumb as me so you're basically insulting yourself 

emo bitch but blonde: idk how handle the info I just got

colossal dick: IM GONNA BLEACH MY EYES

lainah: spill the tea💅🏼

banana: for a moment I thought you were mike  
banana: ready to throw hands

bloodhound: 👁👄👁💧

FIGHT: tell us about the info

emo bitch but blonde: just saw hange peeing in bushes

freckled jesus: I'm pretty sure we're at school and school got bathroom 

horse face: WHICH BUSH

colossal dick: THAT'S NOT THE INFO WE GOT

emo bitch: how many times yall seen they do that

alcoholic: where to begin with

emo bitch but blonde: bert you tell em I'm weak

emo bitch: now I'm curious 

colossal dick: they WERE PEEING WHILE STANDING

smol bean: HOLD ON HOLD ON

lainah: I thought-

chicken: my mind went blank

idiot: does that mean they got dick?

horse face: OBVIOUSLY YOU DUMBASS

FIGHT: idk what to do with the info

chicken: but they got boobs ?!?!?!?

potato: moblit did you know?

alcoholic: IM LITERALLY FUCKING WITH THEM

thug: isnt it class time you brats?

alcoholic: they cought hans peeing in bushes 

thug: I told that bitch to not do that its gross

FIGHT: YOU KNEW TOO?!??!?!?!?

thug: I'm the one that forcefully bath them

freckled jesus: so many secrets are hidden  
freckled jesus: I wonder who else gonna surprise us

smol bean: reiner can you get pregnant?

lainah: BITCH WTAGHSNSISMSL

smol bean: idk wanted to add another one in galliard household

lainah: first of all you've seen me naked enough to make sure of that  
lainah: second of all WHY GALLIARD?

chicken: seriously?

smol bean: wut

chicken: yall fighing for nothing

smol bean: shhhhh  
smol bean: besides if the child takes the Braun name they gonna be like you or gabi

lainah: TF YOU GOT AGAINST MY COUSIN?

smol bean: SHE'S A COPY OF EREN AND DEFINITELY IN FUTURE WILL BE LIKE YOU

lainah: ARE WE FUCKING FIGHTING ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH RN?!??!

smol bean: BESIDES IM GIVING OUR CHILD A CHANCE TO BE HANDSOME 

big bean: narcissism 

smol beam: die

coconut head: wow mom come pick me up I'm scared

cap america wannabe: COME HERE SON

horse face: I got trust issues now

freckled jesus: so tell me is there specific reason they call you horse face?

horse face: you freckled bitch-

FIGHT: WKDNJENSKSMXJKSL

horse face: yk what? ye theres a reason  
horse face: eren never seen a dick and the moment he saw me naked he called me that

FIGHT: BITCH

lainah: OMFG JEAN BEING SASSY

smol bean: DAYUM

emo bitch: TF

horse face: he called me horse face cause he wanted to ride me

lainah: GO OFF

colossal dick: ENDED HIS CAREER 

freckled jesus: didnt know you were THIS sassy?

emo bitch but blonde: not to be snitch but eren is coming at you

horse face: ymir I buy you a new set of boxing gloves if you protect me

queen's bitch: deal

FIGHT: MIKASA HELP ME WHIP FLOOR WITH HIS FACE

queen's bitch: FINALLY A WORTHY OPPONENT   
queen's bitch: OUR BATTLE SHALL BE GLORIOUS 

emo bitch: ANY LAST WORDS?

queen's bitch: BE AWARE IT DOESNT BECOME YOUR LAST WORDS

lainah: guys drop your bets cause we gonna see some really good fight

smol bean: all my lunch money for ymir

potato: idk which to choose

idiot: I go for ymir

thug: 100 bucks on mikasa

queen: fuk levi is at their side  
queen: 100 bucks on ymir

FIGHT: all my savings on mikasa  
FIGHY: + MY PS5

simp: THAT'S MY PS5 YOU HOE

FIGHT: OURS  
FIGHT: *Soviet anthem plays*

horse face: we were supposed to fight jerk

FIGHT: this ain't about us anymore 

emo bitch but blonde: I'm short at money atm but mikasa

lainah: dayum even annie on mikasa

chicken: I bet Levi's knives on mikasa 

thug: DONT TOUCH MY KNIVES

chicken: more reason for mikasa to win

emo bitch: I'm waiting for you behind school

queen's bitch: ON MY WAY HOE

freckled jesus: pls if you have a good camera take vid

coconut head: I want to stop them but I want to see the results 

FIGHT: FUK YEEEEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in an interview I've red of isamaya he said he doesnt confirm about hange gender but they pee standing so I that's a valid reason el oh el💅🏼


	9. late night ranting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yesterday middle of ymir and mikasa fight, shadis came and kicked both of their ass and now they got expelled from school for a week 💅🏼

FIGHT: pspspsps  
FIGHT: @lainah

lainah: 👀

FIGHT: what if we go skateboarding together and you do a nice flip mid air

lainah: its 3am

FIGHT: jkjk  
FIGHT: unless 

lainah: bitch

chicken: corvette corvette 

smol bean: pls not the somg-

chicken: I cant stop myself 

colossal dick: its 3am why yall awake

lainah: eren told me to do a flip mid air

colossal dick: yo eren did you take your brother's drugs?

coconut head: you're too loud for a living creature at 3am

FIGHT: but imagine reiner  
FIGHT: the colors and wind 

lainah: idk how to respond to that

chicken: ye it would be so damn beautiful 

lainah: PLS HALP  
lainah: ROMAMTIC ON LOOSE

idiot: 991

horse face: you meant 911?

idiot: idnt it 991?

horse face: pls go back to sleep

smol bean: hehe GAY

emo bitch: he just saw a new anime

lainah: I felt insecure 

queen's bitch: FUCKING GET BACK TO SLEEP

smol bean: yk you can mute or leave here right?

queen's bitch: none of them feels the same as kicking you in face

smol bean: HEY

queen's bitch: YOU WANNA FIGHT MF?

smol bean: no

FIGHT: stop being violent 

coconut head: I'm pretty sure eren is high

emo bitch: ye he isnt in his default 

chicken: what default?

emo bitch: wanting to kill everyone 

queen's bitch: like he can

colossal dick: is this bitch high?

simp: nope my drugs are safe

chicken: such a bad influence of brother 

FIGHT: have you seen my new fairy tales?

queen's bitch: the way I want bitchslap this hoe

emo bitch: you raising hand on my bf?

queen's bitch: yes

emo bitch: get ready for death

idiot: who won yesterday?

smol bean: where de fawq you went even?

idiot: I took the wrong hallway 

smol bean: how you breath even

horse face: pls dont ask him that he's gonna stop breathing 

idiot: GUYS HEPP I FORGOT HOW TO BREATH

horse face: SEARVH IN YT NOW

smol bean: how-

horse face: he uses one brain cell and mostly the cell is asleep

lainah: so you're ignoring eren being romantic on loose?

chicken: appearly its something common since no one is giving fuck

coconut head: or cause its 3am

lainah: but fr Bert's sleeping positions scares me

smol bean: tf you doing

colossal dick: he's here for sleepover 

smol bean: betrayed 

lainah: eren scars me

simp: what did he do again 

lainah: he keep on texting me and ranting to me  
lainah: like I dont even answer him

simp: he uses me as shopping list too

colossal dick: control your bitch ass bro  
colossal dick: he keep sending me voices

simp: I think you're his testing page

smol bean: I blocked him when he called me nutcracker 

laianh: JWHISNSDKSKSJNSKZKZ

big bean: IM DYISNXJXJKSKSK

emo bitch but blonde: why tho

smol bean: cause I once cracked a nut with my mouth

big bean: your lazy ass finally gave you away

queen: have yall been in your period and feel a drop of blood run down your leg?

lainah: hahaha yeah

smol bean: excuse me YEAH???!?!?

big twin: that's your chance bro go add another one to galliard household 

smol bean: are you ok reiner?

lainah: no

coconut head: I think eren is high  
coconut head: he sent me nudes  
coconut head: hand over the bleach 

colossal dick: here

emo bitch: DE FAWQ

simp: now you say I think he smoke one of my cigarettes 

emo bitch: at least take his phone away

coconut head: it made me feels like when my grandpa took me to Walmart and forgot about me

horse face: why yall having mental breakdown at this unholy hour

chicken: shhh let him finish

coconut head: I slept over a night at Walmart and it was amazing with all demons there

emo bitch but blonde: how long it took him to remember you?

coconut head: 3 days

idiot: how did he remember you?

coconut head: appearly he kept on making food for me and I wasnt there to eat  
coconut head: at 3rd day when he saw a bunch of dishes at table he remembered about me

emo bitch but blonde: wanna kill him for you?

coconut head: he got a couple of weeks left dont worry

colossal dick: how you know that 

coconut head: do you really wanna know it?

colossal dick: no

thug: GET THE FUCK BACK TO SLEEP HOES

FIGHT: hi levi

thug: is he high?

simp: yes

thug: I will kick your ass

simp: WHY ME

thug: scrolled up and saw you fucked up

FIGHT: levi is being a dad figure I needed

cap america wannabe: was wondering why levi smiled and now ik why

thug: STFU

horse face: is the myth tru?

cap america wannabe: what myth?

horse face: if he laughs you'll be blinded

cap america wannabe: tf

foureyes: ye his smile once broke my glasses

thug: I SAID GO BACK TO SLEEP(¬_¬ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the myth is tru and you'll be blessed with a lifetime of luck✌🏼


	10. arson

"bad boiz"

simp: where tf are yall?

FIGHT: who

simp: levi and his gang

thug: we're skipping classes 

cap america wannabe: and probably overthrew school

simp: excuse me?

thug: even god cant make an excuse for creating you

bloodhound: yo hange it's your turn

foureyes: FUK YE

simp: what is going on?

banana: we're busy bye

\---------------------------------------

horse face: HOLY SHIT

FIGHT: BRUH

smol bean: LORD HAVE MERCY ITS AWESOME 

chicken: ITS SO BEAUTIFUL IM CRYING

colossal dick: what part of our school being on fire is beautiful?

crackhead: STFU NERD

FIGHT: WHO DID IT?

thug: me and ma gang

bloodhound: *boss music plays*

cap america wannabe: nice job homies

foureyes: YO KIDS WATCH AND LEARN  
foureyes: THIS IS HOW YOU TURN DOWN AN EXAM

alcoholic: we rollin'

simp: wtf

alcoholic: they hatin'

simp: STHAWOP

lainah: whoever did it thank you I wasn't ready for tests

smol bean: chef kisses💋

simp: PLS HOW DID YOU DO THAT

thug: you'll know when you join us  
thug: but that will never happen

russian chick: nice work pal

thug: thank u for supporting the cables tree

simp: EVEN YELENA

FIGHT: YOU'RE MY IDOL LEVI

simp: such a bad influence on my lil bro

thug: he just smoked you marijuana last night

simp: that's was an accident 

FIGHT: SO WERE YOU

smol bean: OH MIGHTY PUSSY

finger: never returned home at 10am in school day

simp: is no one GIVINGBA FAWQ ABOUT THE ARSON?

laianh: sit your ass down zeke

big bean: ye who even likes school

smol bean: the only time I agree my assjack bro

emo bitch but blonde: what will you do if someone recognizes it was yall?

bloodhound: do we got snitch here?

colossal dick: a couple of them I think

thug: DO WE?

colossal dick: not anymore

simp: what if I say something?  
simp: I can show this chat yk

thug: BITCH I FUCKING DARE  
thug: BITCH FUXKING DO IT JUST DO IT

simp: easy levi i might piss myself 

foureyes: piss kink

simp: wha no

FIGHT changed simp name into piss kink

piss kink: really?

thug: besides even if you tell em it was us you wont make it in one piece to home

cap america wannabe: should I call kenny?

kink piss: since when you got his number?

cap america wannabe: since when I started dating levi

piss kink: bitch

chicken: corvette corvette

smol bean: can you NOT

chicken: I CANT STOP MYSELF 

cap america wannabe: the closest zeke was ever to levi was when levi punching him

bloodhound: el oh el✌🏼

banana: 🙄  
banana: I'm rethinking 

emo bitch but blonde: not Kenny-

emo bitch: 😏

emo bitch but blonde: you and ymir already got expelled so stfu

queen's bitch: dont drag my ass blondie

horse face: but fr how?

cap america wannabe: just a little bit of group work

crackhead: it's super easy tho

foureyes: CHEMISTRY 

queen: YEEEETH

queen's bitch: even you bae?

queen: you weren't here and I was bored

emo bitch: cut the crap hoes

queen's bitch: mf cant handle affection 

emo bitch: I throw your ass into flames levi just made

piss kink: how did these two ended up killing each other?

bloodhound: probably they're on their period 

banana: I'm concerned 

bloodhound: sex education 

mf bitch: so it was you

foureyes: didnt know this bitch is still alive

bloodhound: like what he gon do

mf bitch: blackmail 

banana: such a nasty move

cap america wannabe: I know him since diaper  
cap america wannabe: he doesnt got the balls

bloodhound: PLS DIAPERSNXJNSKXMK

mf bitch: just sit and watch 

piss kink: I'm saying from my experience  
piss kink: sleep with one eye open

mf bitch: why tho

cap america wannabe: incoming threat "levi"

mf bitch: the time I spend with yall gave me trust issues 

piss kink: are you another victim of levi?

mf bitch: no I'm victim of erwin

cap america wannabe: 😏💅🏼

bloodhound: you never meant to be one of us

alcoholic: last time I colored your house so sit your ass down

mf bitch: I THOUGHT IT WAS LEVI

banana: we're psychopath in same level

bloodhound: perfect match

piss kink: I literally sleep with my baseball bat

cap america wannabe: haha weak

piss kink: you got gun or something?

cap america wannabe: even better  
cap america wannabe: I sleep with levi

piss kink: 👁👁

mf bitch: at least I dont have exam anymore 

FIGHT: DOES LEVI GOT CLASSES I WANT TO LEARN

emo bitch: JUST ASK ME AND I BURN DOWN A WHOLE ASS STATE FOR YOU

FIGHT: YAAAAAAAY

queen's bitch: someone was eating shit here a moment ago

emo bitch: that was different 

queen's bitch: homophobic 

emo bitch: dont pull that card on me bitch

lainah: IS THERE A FIGHT?

emo bitch but blonde: why you appear when theres a fight?

smol bean: puberty 

lainah: I'm literally 17

smol bean: and?

colossal dick: then let's go Netflix party

emo bitch but blonde: lemme arrive home first  
emo bitch but blonde: HOW TF YOU ARRIVED SO FAST?

big bean: he got long legs

emo bitch but blonde: you fucking giants 

queen: everyone looks like giants to me

finger: I feel you

petra: shorties took over the chat

foureyes: where's levi then?

thug: BITCH


	11. probably treesome

"arson at 3am"

FIGHT: I FUCKING FIGHT WHOEVER GET CLOSE TO ME

horse face: we know

coconut head:^

FIGHT: LIKE I FUCKING BODY SLAM THEM

emo bitch: wbk 

FIGHT: GONNA TEAR THEM AND WONT REGRET IT

freckled jesus: if you want us act shocked up you're wrong

idiot: we're used to you trying to get killed

FIGHT: why get killed?

coconut head: someone should save you from yourself 

emo bitch: ^

FIGHT: i-

horse face: eren is those type of people that hold the grudge till a good time to kill you

potato: bottled anger

idiot: or due to bottled emotions   
idiot: remember his father 

potato: ye right

emo bitch: you're not lying tho

coconut head: #exposed

potato: he kin light

freckled jesus: NOT LIGHTBSJXJSKSJ

horse face: god complex✋🏼

FIGHT: why yall-

horse face: we suffer from you

FIGHT: STFU JEAN OR JOHN 

horse face: you never seen French guy and it shows

freckled jesus: can you two stop

horse face: WHY WOULD I STOP MF IS INSULTING ME

freckled jesus: I make sure you cant feel your legs

coconut head: oop-

chicken: ^

potato: have you seen eren when he's like super angry?

idiot: ye he mumble german shits  
idiot: it sounds like he's summing demon

horse face: so he kin black butler too

coconut head: PLSJSHXBJANSJ  
coconut head: im passive aggressively laughing rn

FIGHT: you laugh like angel

horse face: kurapika kinnie 

emo bitch: pls stop with all these kinnies 

horse face: okei yumeko kinnie

queen's bitch: she does actually

emo bitch but blonde: ye

emo bitch: are you two teaming up against me?

queen's bitch: we would but we cant stand each other

emo bitch but blonde: we both are top and fighting for dominance is exhausting   
emo bitch but blonde: I believe mikasa is top too

horse face: wait how you all are tops?

queen's bitch: you dont need a dick to be top

horse face: I'm literally a bottom so stfu

potato: if annie is top does that mean armin is bottom?

emo bitch but blonde: who said I'm with armin?

freckled jesus: it's kinda obvious tho

emo bitch but blonde: I hate yall

emo bitch: the feeling is mutual hoe

queen's bitch: where tf is eren even?

coconut head: off somewhere disappointing mikasa

FIGHT: my bro is dragging me out to play baseball with him  
FIGHT: googling how to tell your bro to fuck off

idiot: use wiki how

horse face: glad I dont have siblings 

potato: you got us instead 

idiot: I'm sure jean was those cry baby that would cry and wont let their parents have a moment together 

horse face: you think too much with that one braincell bitch

chicken: having big bro is cool wym

emo bitch: what part of levi being big bro is cool?

chicken: you thought kenny was cool too

emo bitch: I still do think

chicken: dilf lover

emo bitch: I said cool I'm not a simp

chicken: keep on living with lies

emo bitch: imma stab you bitch

chicken: remember I'm unofficial member of Ackerman 

crackhead: can you not get yourself dragged into deep shit

chicken: no

FIGHT: I would do anything but play baseball with this dumbass 

coconut head: throw ball too far

FIGHT: I think I should use physical force

emo bitch: how you gon get yourself killed this time?

FIGHT: HAVE SOEM FAITH IN ME

coconut head: I have enough faith in you as your typing skills

FIGHT: that's not much

emo bitch: last time I had faith in you, you almost get yourself killed

FIGHT: I DID NOT

horse face: you came to her with broken arm

FIGHT: GUCK OFF

horse face: GUCK

potato: g u c k

idiot: G U C K

FIGHY: I HATE YALL

horse face: the feeling is mutual ×2

FIGHT: WHWRE ARE OTHERS ANY WAY?

freckled jesus: you're blocked by half of us

FIGHT: WHAT? WHY?

coconut head: you keep on sending random shit

FIGHT: swear on my $2.89 bag of chips

coconut head: I swear on my fav demon

FIGHT: OMFG

coconut head: at least you're not blocked by mikasa

FIGHT: thank god

emo bitch: why would I block you?

FIGHT: have you seen me?  
FIGHT: my parents hardly handle me

emo bitch: I can slap you again 

FIGHT: NO PLS

horse face: slander 

FIGHT: STFU MF

horse face: bold words for light kinnie

FIGHT: fuk u

freckled jesus: know your line bro

FIGHT: WTF

emo bitch but blonde: yo armin want that burrito with extra sauce?

coconut head: omfg yes pls

queen's bitch: I wanted some but you probably gon poison it

emo bitch but blonde: I wont poison this beautiful angel

queen's bitch: who?

emo bitch but blonde: armin

queen's bitch: I just go water my books bye

colossal dick: is that a jojo reference?

queen's bitch: I'm gonna fuck u with this book if you dont stop

colossal dick: but-

queen's bitch: you and Jean are on my list  
queen's bitch: with all kinnie and references 

lainah: came back from death and seeing bert getting laid

smol bean: by book

lainah: the point is he's getting laid

colossal dick: I'm so damn single

smol bean: its cause you're too tall

russian chick: its personality my bro otherwise I'm taller than you

smol bean: ye she got all chicks around her

colossal dick: FUCK ME

lainah: if you want to

colossal dick: WTF

smol bean: YES TREESOME 

big bean: can I join?

smol bean: you're straight 

big bean: if theres a hole I can work with that

lainah: his bar is so damn low

smol bean: my bro is so desperate hehe

colossal dick: at least I wont die virgin

smol bean: were you planning on dying soon?

lainah: I will body slam you if you die without me

FIGHT: pls take my bro and fuck him too

smol bean: my fear is seeing zeke naked

colossal dick: why tho

smol bean: hes to damn hairy  
smol bean: like he was a furball then got hands and legs

lainah: NSJDIHSKSJJDKX

colossal dick: his hair shouldn't be this obvious since he's blonde

big bean: he built different 🥶

FIGHT: PLS I PAY YOU JUST TAKE HIM  
FIGHT: ARE YOU IGNORING ME?  
FIGHT: REINER PLS

piss kink: 🙄 I fucking hate yall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comment will be appreciated <3


	12. cult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a newbie joins

"arson at 3am"

FIGHT added colt  
FIGHT changed colt name into cult

thug: who tf is this

cult: umm hello?

thug: drop your name or perish

cult: colt obv

thug: who tf name their kid colt

FIGHT: go easy on em he a noob

piss kink: colt as in grice?

cult: who are you

lainah: hey buddy

cult: can yall introduce yourself I'm confused 

potato: wow he's so polite 

idiot: are you related to falco?

cult: yes he's my little brother 

idiot: IM FUCKING GENIUS 

horse face: when you guess you hit it bro  
horse face: but not when you use your brain

piss kink: I'm zeke

cult: I really dont want to know why your name is that 

cap america wannabe: who's this kid?

bloodhound: he ain't from here around

banana: but he knows zeke unfortunately 

foureyes: 1 star for knowing zeke

queen's bitch: are you another blonde?

cult: is there a problem?

thug: the way I hate blondes  
thug: especially jeager ones

piss kink: you're fucking a blonde alr

thug: non of your business hoe

emo bitch: aren't you the guy I cought with zeke smoking at back of school

queen's bitch: ripped off shakira at business 

cult: fuck  
cult: zeke send help

piss kink: as long as levi isnt around I can handle shit

thug: I'm around

piss kink: sorry buddy you're alone in this

potato: I love how he's with us for 1 min and he isnt polite anymore 

idiot: are we bad influence?

lainah: you should see him when he's drunk

cult: DONT BE SNITCH

smol bean: bitch I got so many cards against you

cult: I'm rethinking about my life choices  
cult: besides you didnt give me my granola bar

smol bean: I said I WOULD I didnt put time in it

potato: the fact that he recognized him with the cards against him

idiot: that's sus

colossal dick: why yall add these innocent victims 

emo bitch but blonde: what part of he smoking is innocent 

emo bitch: you forgot drunk part 

emo bitch but blonde: AND DRUNK  
emo bitch but blonde: ty bæ

horse face: tf did I just witness

freckled jesus: formation of Soviet 

FIGHT: IF THEY UNIT WE ALL DIE

lainah: I'm having nightmares with open eyes

smol bean: save yourself 

colossal dick: but she just called her bæ  
colossal dick: it's worse than that

queen: is someone dying?  
queen: cause my phone been making noises 

smol bean: check other apps it's not always us

queen: OMFG FORMATION OF SOVIET  
queen: babe play it

queen's bitch: *Soviet anthem*

emo bitch: why yall assume we're allies 

lainah: she just called you bæ

emo bitch but blonde: my bad  
emo bitch but blonde: my keyboard stuck I wanted to type bitch

queen: fucking shit  
queen: I wanted to see some death

laianh: being away from me had a grave effect on her

queen's bitch: PULL UP

lainah: no

queen's bitch: BITCH WHY ARE YOU SCARED 

lainah: gay ppl scares me

queen's bitch: you're gay bro wtf

lainah: oh

colossal dick: his characters switched

queen's bitch: get therapy 

cult: I still dont know who are yall

thug: the less you know  
thug: the more mentally stability 

cult: I just feel from your tone of type you're levi

piss kink: does typing got tone?

cult: ye like you're stuttering while being near levi

freckled jesus: homeboy pulled 4 against bro

horse face: he seems fun

freckled jesus: ehem

horse face: not everyone want to fuk me chile

FIGHT: who else you recognize?

cult: aren't you Zeke's angry brother?

FIGHT: WHY YALL CAL ME THAT

cult: last time I saw you, you were getting kicked by some kids  
cult: where's your guardian?

cult: my WHAT

emo bitch: I'm here

cult: there's mikasa

horse face: he's smart tho

cult: are you jean?

horse face: GFGDHGXHCHNNWJDN

FIGHT: HAHAHSHDJND

horse face: I hate it here

FIGHT: you're easy to recognize  
FIGHT: all he got to do smell French and gay

lainah: but that's gonna smell like levi

bloodhound: dont get in jobs you're not supposed to be in  
bloodhound: levi smell like tea

cult: fucking weirdo 

cap america wannabe: OMFG HE INSULTED MIKE

cult: oh shit mike

bloodhound: love the smell of stress on you

banana: I just love how you switch between miki minaj to "mike 19 spend 18 years at jail"

cap america wannabe: PLS MIKI MINAJ NSHXJSN

foureyes: he spend 18 years in jail?

cult: have you seen him out of friendship perspective?  
cult: he looks like he killed a whole gang

thug: da ma bestfriend  
thug: he a real bad bitch

thug changed bloodhound name into miki minaj

foureyes: WTFAJSHJSJS

miki minaj: period💅🏼

banana: 🙄

miki minaj: back talk?

banana: bitch imma body slam you

cult: just got in and yall killing each other

lainah: you'll get used to it

smol bean: to his both personalities 

lainah: should I buy another phone for my other one

colossal dick: just say which one are you

cult: a bunch of assholes 

potato: never let falco hang out with you

idiot: wash your mouth with bleach 

potato: levi hand over your bleach pls

thug: I got a 1L rn want it?

potato: yup ty

horse face: white wash

freckled jesus: this is different 

idiot: we gonna wash him with bleach that makes everything white so its white wash

freckled jesus: WTF

cult: 1L? WHERE WOULD YOU HIDE IT?

thug: I got my own connections

cult: that dialogue is for drugs

cap america wannabe: he's been infected by zeke

foureyes: white wash him

alcoholic: wish I never was born

foureyes: why you deny your parents pleasure of sex

alcoholic: I'm gonna choke myself with bleach 

foureyes: babe-

cult: who's idea was to add me?

FIGHT: Zeke asked me

cult: is it for his obsession for levi or stalking him

horse face: sangwoo kinnie 

coconut head: that shit was lit tho 

freckled jesus: I am not absolutely thinking about levi being yoonbum

idiot: hes small

thug: 🔪

idiot: with opposite energy

potato: but he looks like feitan

horse face: omfg yes

queen: feitan is as tall as me

queen's bitch: you're short enough I can put you in my backpack and steal you

queen: why steal me? I follow you myself 

horse face: so damn smooth

freckled jesus: is it cause french side of you taking over?

horse face: I choke you with my wine

smol bean: kinky

cult: uhhhh

smol bean: relax darling we dont burn straight bitches

cult: 😬

smol bean: we feed you to armin

cult: who's armin

emo bitch but blonde: *dorime music plays*

coconut head: me bitch

cult: are you demon or something 

coconut head: satan worships me

cult: zeke

piss kink: you have two choices here  
piss kink: be gay or mentally unstable 

cult: whosoever hangs out with you is mentally unstable 

coconut head: I spare him

emo bitch but blonde: fuck I cant see a damn ritual

colossal dick: I'm worried

lainah: don't be or 

smol bean: or wha

lainah: just saw gabi zoom past my class  
laianh: brb gotta check on her before she dies

cult: FUCK FALCO IS WITH HER

potato: dont say his name with that filthy mouth  
potato: hand over the bleach connie

freckled jesus: what did you do connie

cap america wannabe: he ded asf

miki minaj: the slide was smooth tho 9/10

piss kink: HAHSHHXJXJSHSISN

emo bitch: and this was the last time our new member seen alive

colossal dick: what happened 

smol bean: tf you were?

colossal dick: YOU FUCKING SENT ME TO BUY SNACK

smol bean: dont yell at me you giant I'm sensitive 

potato: connie poured the whole ass bleach on ground and colt zoomed on it and got yeeted into wall

horse face: our poor homie his time came so soon

freckled jesus: dead young

thug: why you wasted my bleach  
thuh: it was my fav brand

miki minaj: and we got two type of ppl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of these conversations ideas comes from me and my homies talking they og asf


	13. levi no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ye it's me again

"arson at 3am"

alcoholic: hey @foureyes 

foureyes: huh?

alcoholic: spell me

foureyes: m o b l I t

alcoholic:🙄 not my name  
alcoholic: the word "me"

foureyes: m e

alcoholic: you forget D

foureyes: m e d  
foureyes: medicine?  
foureyes: OMFG YOU GOT DRUGS

alcoholic: I told you guys it wont work

banana: i didn't know they were THIS clueless 

foureyes: ANSWER ME MOB  
foureyes: SINCE WHEN YOU GOT ADDICTED 

miki minaj: calm your titties gurl

alcoholic: I will be addicted eventually 

cap america wannabe: they fucking didnt get it?

thug: they were real about they being millenia 

foureyes: where should I put the d

alcoholic: UP MY ASS

foureyes: oh  
foureyes: gay

cap america wannabe: someone stop him

miki minaj: I understand the situation but throwing yourself out of window wont fix it

thug: it's only second floor  
thug: you'll end up with broken leg or something 

chicken: ye go at roof

thug: YOO DONT GIVE HIM IDEAS 

FIGHT: I saw moblit hanging of window 

emo bitch: hange got power to drive everyone crazy

miki minaj: not in a sexy way

FIGHT: their stories are awesome as fuk tbh

thug: if you want face anger of moblit just say it

FIGHT: lemme take note  
FIGHT: never make moblit angry✍  
FIGHT: what will happen if I do?

cap america wannabe: a lifetime of bad luck

banana: he will follow you everywhere  
banana: you'll never smile

chicken: fucking awesome 

crackhead: should I be worried about the way you said that?

chicken: definitely 

thug: she used the full word go stop her

horse face: JSVDIHEKDHJDKSKS

coconut head: I shouldn't be laughing 

potato: IM WHEEZING PLSKSJDHHDJ

idiot: the way she zip zapped 

freckled jesus: the way I want to cut the strings with yall

horse face: you said it yesterday 

freckled jesus: consider it my fantasy 

miki minaj: spill the tea💅🏼

banana: dont-

miki minaj: yall named me this and I will use every opportunity 

horse face: appearly uncle kenny came to pick levi

thug: HOLY SHIT HE'S HERE

FIGHT: were you hiding from him?

thug: I might be

crackhead: levi tf did you do?

thug: changed his lube with glue

cap america wannabe: levi wtf- 

thug: he should be stuck in his boyfriend why is he here

queen: that explains why my uncle been missing for 24 hours  
queen: is he ded?

thug: nope just dicked

cap america wannabe: USE THE BACK DOOR

piss kink: never seen levi run this fast

FIGHT: he always chase you with same speed

piss kink: yea but seeing out of the og way seems so fast

FIGHT: you run fast all because of baseball  
FIGHT: otherwise levi would've coughed you sooner

cap america wannabe: are you out?

thug: HE'S FUCKING CHASING ME

alcoholic: WHY YOU BROKE INTO MR ZACKLEY HOUSE?

thug: IDK MAYBE CAUSE IM BEING CHASED BY A FUCKING CAR

foureyes: kenny is after him rip levi

cap america wannabe: NOT ON MY WATCH

miki minaj: YO SIT YO ASS DOWN  
miki minaj: OR HE'LL GLUE YO ASS

alcoholic: LEVI RUN HES TALKING TO DARIUS 

chicken: RUN ANIKKI

crackhead: HE GOT GUN LEVI FUCKING RUN

thug: RUNNING DOWN THE BLOCK FROM MY UNCLE

cap america wannabe: RUN FASTER HES RUNNING TOO

miki minaj: why dont you call your mom?

thug: FUCKING GENIUS 

chicken: the way kuchel can stop her murderous gay bro

crackhead: never knew I should be worried about levi too

piss kink: one of those moment the hunter became pray

thug: I MURDER YOU MYSELF STFU

cap america wannabe: WHERE ARE YOU?

thug: ALMOST HOME

miki mianj: that was so close

thug: ERWIN HALP

cap america wannabe: WHAY

thug: MY MOM IS ANGRY TOO

cap america wannabe: guess you should stay at my place  
cap america wannabe: I'm coming to pick you up

piss kink: that was so damn close to his death

FIGHT: be glad you never saw his uncle

queen: I body slammed him

queen's bitch: babe you're so small you sure someone didnt throw you at him?

queen: I did it in front of my uncle BUT  
queen: I'M STILL ALIVE THO

emo bitch: it's all because of your uncle

horse face: imagine if we didn't mention that kenny was here

potato: the battle of Ackerman 

idiot: we totally forgot about annie

miki minaj: what does it has to do with her?

horse face: when kenny got down of his jeap annie saw him

freckled jesus: JEAP

FIGHT: j e a p

idiot: jeap jeap bitch 

horse face: STFU

freckled jesus: jeap

horse face: seriously?

freckled jesus: MIKE WRITE IT DOWN IN YOUR DOC

miki minaj: done  
miki minaj: now do continue 

potato: she FUCKINH WENT ZIG ZAG THE WHOLE WAY

idiot: she was stuttering while walking I'm ded

coconut head: kenny came for blood

banana: hes the only one that scares the fuck out of all of us

alcoholic: even levi

piss kink: dayum 

FIGHT: IS MY FATHER FIGURE ALIVE?

piss kink: father figure?

FIGHT: stfu monke

cap america wannabe: I got him

thug: I met death himself and came back

foureyes: sleep with open eyes

alcoholic: he got no chile

banana: better to not sleep at all

emo bitch: hehe he's scared of him

FIGHT: 🗿

emo bitch but blonde: I FUCKING GOT AN HEART ATTACK 

banana: so did levi

emo bitch but blonde: why him?

foureyes: he was here for levi

emo bitch but blonde: I almost peed myself holy shit

emo bitch: am I the only one isnt scared of him?

coconut head: its probably because you dont know him the way others know

emo bitch: like how?

FIGHT: levi literally ran away from him  
FIGHT: I'll be a good kid and take note

piss kink: I'd like to meet this uncle

cap america wannabe: good luck

piss kink: it's a trap isnt it?

cap america wannabe: you said you wanted to meet him

piss kink: is he like levi?

miki minaj: levi10×

piss kink: WHY DIDNT YOU PUT WARNING BITCH

FIGHT: told you he's scary asf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip levi kenny gon whoop his ass with help of his mom


End file.
